It's easy to get into the habit of stressing about money, about next month's bills and next year's holiday payments. But worrying is never constructive, especially when you can do something about it.

If you regularly worry about finances, it sounds like you don't control your money, your money controls you. At some time or other, it happens to us all. Money gets the upper hand, because we never know where it all goes, and we can never put any aside for a rainy day.

If you think you're being controlled by money, read on. We'll show you the signs you should look out for that point to an unhealthy relationship with your finances, and what you can do to make it healthy again.

Because really, the money you work hard to earn should be like a faithful pet: there when you need it, and happy to do what it's told.

Scenario: You never know where it all goes

Money is a tricky little customer. If you let it, it will stop taking orders from you, and start giving them out.

The easiest way to let money start controlling your relationship is to take your eye off it. If you never know where it goes, you can easily spend up before payday, slip over your overdraft limit, and get into debt. Once that happens, money gets the upper hand.

Solution: Keep a money diary for a week

Get a small notebook, carry it with you and write down every single thing you spend, as soon as you spend it, every day for the next week. Every bill, newspaper, sandwich, train fare, coffee and glass of wine.

Once you know where it all goes, you'll know where savings can be made, if you need to make them (and if you don't now, you might in future). It means money isn't controlling you anymore. You're keeping an eye on it, so it can't run away from you.

Scenario: You never have any savings

If you don't have anything put aside, you're at the mercy of money if anything unexpected happens. What if a bill turns up out of the blue, or the car needs a costly repair to get it back on the road? What if you get made redundant, and it takes a month or two to find a new job?

If you don't have savings, you'll end up putting the expense on high-interest credit cards, or building up a hefty overdraft and perhaps attracting fines for going over your limit.

If you juggle bills the next month to meet the payments - you pay off one credit card with another, for instance - you no longer have control of your money.

Solution: Build a little nest egg

We're not talking about thousands and thousands, but if you can build up an emergency fund, you're making sure money can never get the upper hand.

Calculate your average monthly outgoings, include mortgage or rent, bills, travel costs, food and so on. Ideally, your emergency fund should add up to three times this amount. Put it somewhere where it's easy to get to, but attracts a decent interest rate.

It all means that, if the worst comes to the worst, you can survive for three months without an income, or pay off a large, unexpected bill without diving into debt. You might never need it, but knowing it's there, building up interest, means you have financial control, because money problems can't take you by surprise.